Building Resilience and Adaptability: Why These Skills Are Crucial for Kids in the Digital Age
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Parenting starts even before the child comes to this world and then, it never ends. Once a parent, always a parent. Probably because, the parent-child bond is dynamic in nature. It changes with time and takes different forms as children grow but, it never fades. One aspect that can make this journey memorable is the satisfaction that you have raised children who are not only ready to pass the academic exams but are equally ready to fight the real battles of life.
Though it is difficult to define how to build resilient and adaptive children in few words due to its multi-faceted functioning, but it is always helpful to find why it is important to raise resilient children, more so in digital age. There is plenty of research supporting the short- and long-term effects of focusing on developing resilient children. Here are the five most evident ways through which we can find the answers of the most pertinent question of parenting in today’s world “why children need to be resilient and adaptive in digital age”
1). Resilient children learn other skills better
The family is the first unit of society that a child gets exposed to as soon as the child comes on this planet. From birth to first eight years of life, every child’s brain undergoes a number of extraordinary experiences. Needless to say, the first 8 years of life define the next 80. When parents acknowledge this power of early years and invest systematically in raising resilient children – children are found to be learning all others skills like leadership, socio-emotional etc. at a better pace. There are ‘Windows of opportunity” which are sensitive periods when a particular kind of learning is more prone to happen. The research on resilience has consistently proven that the earlier it starts, the better it is for later years. Resilient and adaptive skills function as foundation to build other skills of life.
2). Resilient children follow discipline in life
Unfortunately, discipline is a word which has negative connotation to it in parenting circles but in reality, discipline and punishment are just not synonyms. In fact, discipline is a very positive and essential part of modern parenting. When children are exposed to multiple resources through this over stimulated world around them, it is this habit of discipline that helps them in making right choices. Resilient and Adaptive children are known to score higher in making positive decisions in life.
3). Resilient and adaptive skills cater to every age
The need of adaptive skills is well established for younger children due to rapid growth but it is also important to remember one key fact: Teens need to use adaptive skills most— even if it doesn’t seem like it. And, that is where investing in building resilient and adaptive children comes as a highly effective tool. The presence of nurturing parents who truly listen has been reported by many longitudinal studies among emotionally resilient children. Positive parenting that raise resilient children brings that “Love and Logic method” in families. Love provides empowerment and responsibility to preteens and teenagers whereas logic allows them to live with the natural consequences of their mistakes.
4). Resilience is more needed in digital world
In this world of high digital exposure, the very first way to train children for internet safety is to inculcate the concept of digital resilience in them. Digital resilience is the basic understanding about when you may be at risk online, knowing what to do if something goes wrong, learning from your experiences of being online, and being able to recover from any challenges, if faced. Putting multiple checks and digital blocks might provide temporary results to parents but what will eventually help them is the investment in digital resilience of their children. Digital resilience grows through experience and guided exposure of virtual world. It does not come from avoiding the digital world. Keeping children away from screen is not a realistic solution and hence, parents need to focus on enhancing digital resilience of children through open discussions in family about cyber risks.
This training of good, bad and ugly starts as soon as the digital exposure starts for very young children. The most important aspect is to use screen wisely; not everything is necessarily bad about it.
5). Resilience is the mantra for healthy and happy family
When children blossom into self-reliant and capable individuals due to adaptability and resilience, parents get enough opportunities and time for self-care. And, self-care is not selfish. Rather, a physically and emotionally healthy parent will automatically develop an environment in family which is conducive enough to bring healthy and happy traits in children.
Studies highlight that when parents invest in building resilient and adaptive children, not only they make their own parenting journey easy, but they also end up gifting “mature adults” to this world who will continue this cycle of investing in resilience and adaptive skills of future generations as well.
The author is a developmental psychologist who is working for training and parent partnership initiatives at KLAY preschools and day-care as consultant. She is also working with children and families of various countries from last two decades as psychologist.
